I withdrew after the diagnosis of autism in my child, subtle initially, such as skipping social occasions and making excuses to avoid friends. Then it got worse. I stopped sharing my issues with anyone outside my family. I felt they could not understand what it was like to manage meltdowns, having a myriad of appointments, and constantly subjected to judgments from strangers.
I carried it all on my back quietly and started crumbling. I became moody, withdrawn, and even my marriage started to get affected. My wife wanted to talk, but I had no words to put it into. The dreadful truth was that ashamed of self, not the child. I thought, “I should be stronger, more capable and better in control.”
Then a day came which I would remember forever. We were at the park, and my child just burst. People were staring, whispering, and shaking their heads. I wanted to disappear. That night I felt bare and alone and identified the drowning in isolation. Something needed to change.
Reaching out was difficult! Joining Autism Dad United Global was the glue that gave me back that connection. For the first time, I could speak my truth about the bad days—tears, frustration, and exhaustion—without fear of judgment. Other dads were nodding their heads in understanding because they had been there, too.
Gradually, the walls I have built around myself started coming down. I learned that vulnerability is not weakness; it is the path to connection. And connection was what I had been starving for all along.
I feel supported and less alone today. I have a friendship with dads from countries around the world who remind me that I’m not alone on a daily basis. We give each other advice, encouragement, and even share some laughter on the hard days. Autism Dad United Global made me visible. I feel connected, supported, and proud to walk this journey with fathers who truly understand.
